Well then.

So I've returned home! I've been home for two weeks (ish). The last couple of days in Paris were a whirlwind, with my parents visiting and saying goodbye to best collective year, so far. I would say that my sophomore year of college was the best in recent memory. But I was exhausted and stressed most of the time. My year in Paris was also stressful and exhausting and difficult, but I learned so much about myself. It was hard in a good way. It was emotionally and intellectually strenuous. But I loved it. I appreciated it. And I would pack up and go back tomorrow. This afternoon, even.

After struggling with finding jobs (Luna Park was so horrible), I might be close to something good... more details to come.

I'm restarting my low-glycemic diet. Completely rearranging what I eat (permanently) is difficult. You really have to plan out your whole day in food choices, and keep reminding yourself of what is a healthy balance and what is not. But, since I've come to the conclusion that I would one day like to have children, and I would not want that to be really difficult to do when I'm ready for that decision, it's time to get it all in gear.

It also means having a better relationship with food. When I was studying ballet at the Joffrey, it got to a point I was told every day that I needed to lose weight (this started when I was 9 or 10 and ended when I left at 14). I know that I have a warped body image, but I think it will change when I feel better about myself.

By the way, in case it wasn't clear, I have a mild case of PCOS. So, even when I was pre-pubescent and told to lose weight, it was very difficult. A little justice via legitimate excuse for a 12-year-old who couldn't look in the mirror (I used to spot my turns with my eyes above the mirror in the dance studio so I didn't have to see the reflection... it had negative effects on pirouettes, to say the least).


Anyways... the point of all this is to say that one of my goals this summer is to get it all under control. This is not a weight loss blog. But, I will be trying out diabetes recipes. When I was France, I learned from my host family how nice and pleasant it is to cook dinner and sit with your family. You eat better, and it costs less. So it might be a little food blog-y for a while. But that's what's on my mind.

Also, I've started taking Hot Power Yoga at Pure on the Upper West Side. It's painful, but fun and it feels really good to sweat it all away.

This is the summer of feeling good about yourself, and about being happy.

I'm also turning 21 soon.